Saturday, December 29, 2007

Today's Noun - Beginning

be·gin·ning /bɪˈgɪnɪŋ/[bi-gin-ing]
1. an act or circumstance of entering upon an action or state
2. the point of time or space at which anything begins:
3. the first part:
4. Often, beginnings. the initial stage or part of anything
5. origin; source; first cause:
6. just formed: a beginning company.

[Origin: 1175–1225; ME beginnung, -ing. See begin, -ing1]


Few, if any at all, are going to understand what is written here, besides me. But glean what you can, and welcome to the recesses of my mind. =)

At this time of year all of us come to an ending and a beginning. Humans tend to shed their proverbial "old skins" - like a snake - at times like this and encouage new growth in themselves. It's the natural way of things.

I'm into growth. It is my understanding (viewpoint?) that the purpose of humanity is to grow and evolve into something that it is not - yet. I feel a huge responsibility to do my personal part in that. We're all connected. If I don't do my part, someone else has to do it, and I become the burdensome one who retards everyone elses growth. I refuse to let that happen if I can do anything about it. I want to be ALL about growth.

Loving the learning, hating the process
In 2007 I have experienced the growth process of endings. I've spent much of the year dealing with grief. Losses of all types - People, places, things, a job I loved and was damn good at, relationships - serious ones and minimal ones, hopes, dreams. This has been the greatest catalyst for *other* types growth this year.

"Ain't THAT amazin' - Gracie?"
In 2007 I have experienced the growth process of beginnings. What I actually saw as I looked closely at those seeming beginnings, was that they are not! The truth is they are simply continuations or a rediscovering of things that were laying dormant, waiting to be focused on. Waiting to become useful again. Things that, apparently, I wasn't finished "growing" through, so they present themseves again - to be nurtured and fed to maturation.

~!Whew!~ Missed THAT catastrophe by the skin of my teeth!
In 2007 there has been *phenomenal* growth process in clarification ability. It's rising like the Phoenix out of the ashes. I have learned, through grief, that death is necessary for growth to take place - again, it is the nature of things. Pruning is painful, but produces lovely blooms. If I had stayed in a previous lifestyle, this clarification would not have taken place. I'd have stayed under the thumb of stagnation, and molded there. Fate did me a huge favor. I'm humbly grateful.

The Borg Factor
In 2007 there have been changes *to* my life that I had no control over. The result of this has been a solidifying of my resolve. (Translation - It made me even more stubborn) From this point forward my resolve is to be as proactive as possible. I won't fight unless I have to, but I'm prepared in any event.

So, this is your only warning, you dirty control freaks of the Borg Collective. All of you. Assimilation is NOT an option - You won't take me without a fight. Don't tempt me to upload a virus that will destroy all your circuits with the mere push of a button. Don't underestimate me because of my graceful demenor and blonde hair - I'm not weak, I am motivated. Inside this chest beats the heart of a Lioness, the supressed wrath of a woman scorned, and the spirit of Ghengis Kahn. I have no qualms about killing anything that threatens my den. It's time for YOU to learn that change is inevitable and resistance is futile. You've bullied everyone long enough.


This little review has shown me I haven't been living with nothing to show for it. That's just REALLY good news, to me.

Now . . . where's the champagne?

Monday, December 24, 2007

Today's Noun - Hope

hope /hoʊp/ hohp] hoped, hop·ing.
–noun 1. the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best: 2. a particular instance of this feeling: 3. grounds for this feeling in a particular instance: 4. a person or thing in which expectations are centered: 5. something that is hoped for: 6. to look forward to with desire and reasonable confidence. 7. to believe, desire, or trust: 8. to feel that something desired may happen: 9. Archaic. to place trust; rely 10. hope against hope, to continue to hope, although the outlook does not warrant it:

[Origin: bef. 900; (n.) ME; OE hopa; c. D hoop, G Hoffe; (v.) ME hopen, OE hopian]


It occurs to me today that it takes a lot of courage to be hopeful. One has to walk into hope with the knowledge that hope is just a dream, yet, with hope that dreams do come true. What a dichotomy!!

We often have no hope at all that a certain desire may be fulfilled. So much so that we discard the desire as a dream that died and went to hell, and turn to a journey where we actively work for someone else's desires to be fulfilled. As we travel the road of fulfilling the hopes of another, our own hope peeks out from around the corner then darts back out of sight as soon as we turn to look at it - taking it's essense with it. (Wait a second! I sent that hope to burn in hell!!) Then, it begins to get more bold, and stay just long enough for us to begin to recognize it's face. It essence invades you, almost against your own will, to make a real change in your life.

You begin to question. . . Do I dare to hope? Do I dare take the chance? Do I have "reasonable confidence" (as is expressed in the definition above) that this can morph from being dead and in hell into livable reality? I can't go through much more pain, unless the pain actually produces some positive results. Is this a *real* hope, or only real because I secretly hope for it to be so?

Hope is just a . . . thing. But what courage it takes to dare to accept it.

Today, I start a new journey. One of hope for myself, not for another another this time. I choose to be brave. I choose to hope. I choose to rescue it from the hell to which I, personally, banished it - come what may.

Where is my shovel?

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Today's Noun - Farewell

fare·well /ˌfɛərˈwɛl/ [fair-wel]
goodby; may you fare well: Farewell, and may we meet again in happier times. –noun
an expression of good wishes at parting
leave-taking; departure: a fond farewell.

[Origin: 1325–75; ME farwel. See fare, well1]

In light of the excellent news that I will be starting a new job on January 2, I was able to turn in my notice at the college bookstore. Today was my last day. Since it was a temp position, a longer notice was not called for. (And boy, am I glad!) I am going to take a couple of weeks off to enjoy the holidays, spend time with my family, and mentally prepare myself for the new job.

Everyone knew it was my last day fifteen minutes after I got there and informed the baby-talking manager. Ironically, everyone was much more friendly toward me today than they ever had been before. Many asked questions about the new job, and what it was like to work under such conditions. Several started telling me about the mental illnesses in their family. A couple asked my advice about what to do with their own teenagers. Isn't it interesting how people change once they find out things about you? They (save one) were not interested in my life before, nor even interested in being friendly as co-workers, but once they found out I was leaving and why, their tunes changed.

There are (well, were!) five temps working at the bookstore right now. The manager let all of us go a while early today because we just were not very busy. I had gone to the storage room to get my coat and say my goodbye's. As I made my way back up to the front to leave I spoke to each person, giving them good wishes for the holidays. I felt almost a sadness. It was quite strange, because I really hated this job. I did not expect to feel anything but joy as I left. But alas, I was wrong. It was clear that the others were feeling the finality of things as well. It showed in their eyes and in their body language.

When I'm in front of virtual strangers and don't want to show my feelings, I tend to resort to joking around. I searched my brain for an idea of how to help all of us feel better. They were all standing at the counter - staring at me with goofy grins on their faces - and I was in front of the counter - and I don't have a clue what my expression was.

Then it hit me.

I clicked my heals together three times, and said . . . "There's no place like home. There's no place like home. There's no place like home."

They all laughed.

Then I rushed over to the Mr. Thrifty display that a co-temp and I put up last week. I grabbed up the skelleton, wiped a faux tear from my eye, and said . . . "I think I shall miss you most of all."

They all laughed even harder.

I then walked out the door (and the inevitable "dong without the ding" resounded in my ear for the last time), saying . . . "Come on Toto. We're going HOME!" . . . while motioning for an invisible dog to jump into my arms.

As I turned to wave as Dorothy would, I saw them holding their stomachs and pointing at me, and laughing harder than ever.

I didn't feel sad anymore. =)

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Bonus Noun - Question

ques·tion /ˈkwɛstʃən/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[kwes-chuhn] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
a sentence in an interrogative form, addressed to someone in order to get information in reply.
a problem for discussion or under discussion; a matter for investigation.
a matter of some uncertainty or difficulty; problem (usually fol. by of): It was simply a question of time.
a subject of dispute or controversy.
a proposal to be debated or voted on, as in a meeting or a deliberative assembly.

[Origin: 1250–1300; (n.) ME questio(u)n, questiun < style="FONT-VARIANT: small-caps" href="" minmax_bound="true">-tion; (v.) late ME < MF questioner, deriv. of the n.]

In our {American} culture questions are often used as a way to convey judgemental opinions, be sarcastic, and be condescending. I really despise this particular aspect of our culture because it causes me problems.

I'm a question asker. Some don't understand that, for the most part, my questions are just that - questions. Inquiry. An attempt to disover, uncover, discern, acertain, hear, perceive, and learn. BUT . . . I see that *sometimes* I do use questions as a coping mechinism to convey my true inner feelings. At times, with some, it seems safer to covey a feeling in the form of a question rather than just laying a wounded bleeding heart out there to be further pummeled. This is part of the problem, and indeed something I need to change. I need to stop doing that. Now.

I already know why it happens that some misunderstand. I fully "get" that it's not what you say, but how you say it. Understanding something doesn't mean one has mastery over it 24/7/365, however. Especially me. I'm a very blunt spoken person - the shortest distance between two points is a straight line. I'm trying as hard as I can to learn to communicate that I am really seeking the answers, not being a b*tch. I often do this with disclaimers. But some don't want to hear the disclaimers, and tell me to "get on with it" even though I'm not being pedantic. So, the problem remains.

One aspect of this I see causing a communication problem for me is . . . I'm passionate. About almost everything. If something is worth doing, it's worth doing right. To do it right, I have to have information. I am sure my passion comes across the same way my questions do. Differently than I intend, and as if I'm judging, being condescending, or that I'm right and they are wrong. The problem is, it all looks the same to some people who do not have the perspective in the moment to discern when I'm when I'm simply being passionate.

Yet another aspect of all this I see - in my vocation I am required to be this blunt spoken, passionate, kind of person. It's imparitive to the success of my work. The fact that I'm the type of person I am is exactly what makes me very successful in this work, and has served me well 99.9% of the time!! In order to contnue being successful, I have to keep these skills honed and sharp. I "am" my work, and my work is "me." Whether that work is as a mother, a friend, as a daughter, a spouse, or in my vocation - I yam what I yam and that's all that I yam. =)

In order to communicate with some I'm taking the responsibility to change, not "expecting" another to do any changing - that's just not going to happen in this lifetime. There are some who just cannot accept this aspect of who I am. I'm putting in the effort to learn how to convey accurately to these who don't accept my ways. I just don't know how to change such a core part of myself and do it differently. But I have to. If I can't learn, and quickly, some things are going to happen to my child that I do not want to happen.

Today's Noun - FUN

fun /fʌn/ [fuhn]
something that provides mirth or amusement
enjoyment or playfulness
Informal. joke; kid. –adjective
Informal. of or pertaining to fun, esp. to social fun: a fun thing to do; really a fun person.
Informal. whimsical: flamboyant: The fashions this year are definitely on the fun side. —Idioms
for or in fun, as a joke; not seriously; playfully: His insults were only in fun.

[Origin: 1675–85; dial. var. of obs. fon to befool. See fond1]

I am looking for a permanent employment postion in my chosen vocation, but that's a bit hard to come by - I have a highly specialized vocation. I do have an intervew tomorrow morning that I'm excited about though! In the interim I am working at a temp position in the bookstore at a college.

The bookstore is quite typical, as college bookstores go. Lots of hoodies and nick-nacks in school colors, and the school logo plastered everywhere. The windows have been decorated with strategically placed hand-cut paper snowflakes. Just near the door there is a Christmas tree on a counter - complete with green and white {school colored!} lights - and a huge mother-of-pearl white star on top with . . the school logo, in school colors.

The television that hangs precariously over a wheeled table displaying cheap blankets (sporting the school logo in school colors) is constantly showing the same loop of school propaganda, every ad also sporting the school logo in school colors, WHILE playing the school fight song. . . . over and over. And over. Ad nauseum.

Every time someone enters the store an "Avon Calling" bell rings. When someone leaves, all you hear is half of the same familiar tone - the last half. The "dong without the ding" is a bit disconcerting, let me tell you! What is up with that? "Avon Leaving" perhaps? I suppose I should count my blessings - it could play the school fight song with a strobe light in school colors flashing to the tempo.

My new friend R. and I created a display of "Mr. Thrifty" today. Mr. Thrifty is a skeleton. For a mere $67 (that's a "thrifty" price, eh Mr?) one can purchase the entire plastic skeleton on a hook. So, we put him at the logical beginning of the display, with signage [in school colors with the school logo] saying . . . "Mr. Thrify needs only $67 +Tax of love to be whole again".

Next, we placed three models of Mr. Thrifty's skull.

The first sign [under the first model] says . . .
"Every Woman's Dream - Mr. Thrify! No Removeable Parts: $27 +Tax."

The second sign [under the second model] says . . .
"More Realistic Mr. Thrifty! No Brain; Easily Removeable Head! $32 +Tax".

The third sign [under the third model] says . . .
"Mr. Thrifty - with brain and removeable parts; PRICELESS!!
(but to get the best you gotta PAY!! - - - $37 +Tax)"

After the display was finished we observed several students laughing at the signs. It made our day. =)

Saturday, December 1, 2007

Today's Noun[s] - Boundary or Frontier?

bound·a·ry /ˈbaʊndəri, -dri/ Pronunciation [boun-duh-ree, -dree]
–noun, plural -ries.
something that indicates bounds or limits; a limiting or bounding line.
Also called frontier - Mathematics. the collection of all points of a given set having the property that every neighborhood of each point contains points in the set and in the complement of the set.
Cricket. a hit in which the ball reaches or crosses the boundary line of the field on one or more bounces, counting four runs for the batsman.
[Origin: 1620–30]

In our use of language we all-to-often think of a word as meaning one thing. Very rarely is this a reality as the overwhelming majority of words have more than one meaning - especially in the English language. However, we all continue opperate under our own personal understanding of the meaning of the word. This understanding comes from many other aspects - upbringing, culture, ETC.

Recently I've been dealing with understanding my own boundaries as well as those of another person in my life. For the past several days it's been a rough journey. I needed some HELP! So, of course, I went in search of a noun.

I surmise that most people's definition of "boundary" is in that "limit" capacity. Not me. Imagine my delight when the word "frontier" jumped off the page at me as I read the definition. That's exactly how I see a boundary - As a frontier! As an opportunity to explore, and therefore discover, and gain knowledge.

fron·tier (frŭn-tîr)
1. a wilderness at the edge of a settled area of a country
2. an international boundary or the area (often fortified) immediately inside the boundary
3. an undeveloped field of study; a topic inviting research and development

Ahhhh. . . there it is. MY definition of boundary, with a twist. That word "boundary" is certainly prominant. I admit that before now, when thinking strictly about a frontier, I never even entertained that a frontier had boundaries. I always think of a frontier as an open space. I have to acknowledge that the word picture in my mind DOES have edges. I was focusing on the central part of the picture before.

So, I was thinking it through . . .

If we open our boarders to everyone, we get hurt. Humans adore control. It is because of control issues boundaries are set to begin with. Personal boundaries are personal laws - the law of our own personal kingdom. We are the monarch of our own kingdom, and we set out just what laws there are. We set out just who may enter our kingdom and who may not. When we do allow someone to enter our kingdom they are expected to follow our law.

Most of us, when confronted with a boundary, stop dead in our tracks. We are taught that boundaries are not to be crossed under any circumstances. Invasion of another persons "space" is rude, disrespectful, unkind, controling, and unloving.

But, wait!!! Each of us has a desire. A desire for that special someone who walks into our kingdom and explores our frontier. We learn from the explorer - that's what makes them SPECIAL. We find out just exaclty what lives and what does not live in our kingdom from that someone!! If we keep our boarders so protected and fenced in we never allow an explorer to cross any boundaries we never fully know or understand what is on our frontier. What good is living in a kingdom if no one else is there with you?

If you invite someone special to be part of your personal kingdom, then by all means, let them IN. Allow them to explore your frontier, on all sides, that you may know your own kingdom well.

Of course this makes your kingdom vunerable. But consider this . . .

“The person who, being really on the Way, falls upon hard times in the world, will not, as a consequence, turn to that friend who offers him refuge and comfort and encourages their old self to survive. Rather, he will seek out someone who will faithfully and inexorably help him to risk himself, so that he may endure the difficulty and pass courageously through it. Only to the extent that a person exposes himself over and over again to annihilation, can that which is indestructible be found within them. In this daring lies dignity and the spirit of true awakening.” – Zen teacher Kalfried von Durkheim

Open the boundaries of your frontier. You'll discover the dignity of your own kingdom, and awaken to the aspects that keep you from expanding those boundaries. Find what is indestructile about you.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Today's Noun - Acceptance

ac·cept·ance /ækˈsɛptəns/ Pronunciation [ak-sep-tuhns]
the act of taking or receiving something offered.
favorable reception; approval; favor.
the act of assenting or believing: acceptance of a theory.
the fact or state of being accepted or acceptable.

Synonyms: accepting, acknowledgement, acquiring, admission, agreement, approval, assent, compliance, consent, cooperation, gaining, getting, having, obtaining, okay, permission, receipt, reception, recognition, securing, taking [on], undertaking

Antonyms: disagreement, refusal, rejection


I have to begin a journey of acceptance in my life. It is the only choice I have left, having exhausted all other options. Accepting where things are, what things are, how things are, who they are, and when things are . . . all without knowing WHY things are. That's a tough one for me. I've always been a "But WHY?" person. I've also always been a planner. In this, I'm formulating a plan for just how to go about doing this acceptance thing. I am using the best tools I have available to me - understanding of the word itself, along with the Serenity Prayer.

I have many doubts that anyone that doesn't know me, and know me well, is going to fully understand this post - which is actually my style of poetry. My mind is a complex and obscure place to wander, so . . . Prepare Thyself!

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;

Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful worldas it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy in the next.
--Reinhold Niebu

The journey begins with . . .

Acknowledgement, to Admission, to Compliance, to Approval;
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change

Then on to Aquiring, and therefore Cooperation;
the courage to change the things I can

Then from Obtaining, to Receiving, to Assent
and wisdom to know the difference.

Further, from Compliance. . .
Living one day at a time;

. . . to Approval. . .
Enjoying one moment at a time;

. . . to further Assent.
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace.

From Recognition. . .
Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it.

. . . to Undertaking . . .
Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will;

. . . and finally Obtaining, Receipt, Reception, Securing, Gaining, Getting.
That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy in the next.

Well, that's the plan, at any rate.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Today's Noun - Friend

friend /frɛnd/
a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter: friends of the Boston Symphony.
a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile
a member of the same nation, party, etc.
make friends with, to enter into friendly relations with; become a friend to.

[Origin: bef. 900; ME friend, frend, OE fréond friend, lover, relative (c. OS friund, OHG friunt (G Freund), Goth frijōnds), orig. prp. of fréogan, c. Goth frijōn to love]

For a few weeks now the verse "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." (John 15:13) has been literally invading my mind. It's come up not only in my mind, but in several other areas of life too. So much so it's uncanny, but I'll spare you the details.

I had a big "DUH" moment today when I realized just why this verse was being brought to my mind. The moment helped me take the verse from my mind, into my heart. I thought I'd share it with you.

I recently moved back with my ex-husband so he and I could co-parent my grandson together. He and I made a commitment to become close enough friends to do this co-parenting in a manner that is nothing but beneficial for this child. I can tell you, it has been extremely difficult so far. I've been working hard at trying to learn how to do this. I don't have any room for big mistakes here. I have to do this right.

This morning, after a particularly trying past few days, the verse flooded my mind rather loudly! It was hard to ignore. (I'm thick sometimes.) So I started meditating on the verse. My first thought was . . . "How is this applicable to my life? My friends already know I'd lay my life down for them."

The Spirit said to me "You're working on a new friendship. You asked for help. There it is."

My first reaction was negative. "Are you KIDDING me? I have to die, or be willing to die, for my ex-husband?"

The Spirit said nothing, but I sort of visualized Him rolling his eyes at me. I kept meditating on the dying part.

Death. Dying. Die. Die for a friend. Die away. Die down. Die off. Die out. Die hard. Expire. Depart, Relinquish. Pass away. Surrender. Subside. CEASE TO EXIST!!!!

I admit, I was on the verge of the mother of all self-imposed panic attacks at this point.

"Some things that must die are not physical, nor tangible, nor are they obvious - especially when one is so close to it." the Spirit gently goaded. (No eye rolling this time.)

I meditated further. I tried incorporating all the things that have been on my mind and what has been in going on in my life since that verse started resonating through my mind. Nothing real came to me, right then.

Later in the day a friend and I were talking on the phone and one of the many things we talked about was an ego problem she perceived she had. (She doesn't have this problem, she just THINKS she has this problem.)

I hung up the phone, and almost immediately an epiphany hit me. This is the point at which the DUH came loud and clear.

The verse says great love means laying down your L I F E for the friend. What good does a dead body do for a person, except cause them grief? That verse does not have to mean ONLY physical life, and it doesn't mean ONLY death of the body. While I had feelings of nobility as I envisioned stepping between me and Lib, (or Tara, or Christy, or Mindy, or Joy, or Flo, - All my BFF's) and a bullet, this is not what the Spirit has been trying to tell me about my choice to be friends with my ex.

What must die is my own ego .
The "I expect. . . "
The "I want. . . "
The "You should. . ."
The "If only you would . . . I could . . . "
The "Why didn't you . . . "

(SUB THOUGHT - Gee. Maybe if we'd done that before, we wouldn't be ex-spouses.)

Now if I can just take what I have heard in my mind and taken into my heart because I understand it, and move it into action in my day to day life things might be ok.

It occurs to me that taking a bullet would be a WHOLE lot easier!

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Today's Noun - Prize

prize /praɪz/ Pronunciation Key - [prahyz]
a reward for victory or superiority, as in a contest or competition.
something that is won in a lottery or the like.
anything striven for, worth striving for, or much valued.
something seized or captured, esp. an enemy's ship and cargo captured at sea in wartime.
the act of taking or capturing, esp. a ship at sea.
Archaic. a contest or match. –adjective
having won a prize: a prize bull; a prize play.
worthy of a prize.
given or awarded as a prize.

[Origin: 1250–1300; in senses referring to something seized, continuing ME prise something captured, a seizing < MF < L pre(hé)nsa, n. use of fem. ptp. of pre(he)ndere to take; in senses referring to something won, sp. var. of PRICE since the late 16th century]
—Synonyms 1. premium. See REWARD

Last night a friend and I were watching the movie "300" - which is a sort of comic book re-telling of the victory of the Spartan's over the Persians. In the opening of the movie a narrator conveyed that, in the Spartan community, the most beautiful girls were set aside as oracles. Their only purposes were to serve men in two ways - any way the man wanted, and as an as a medium between man and the gods. In a later scene there is a very large man, with a gleam in his eye and a wide smile on his face, promising that if another man will do his bidding victoriously, he would reward the man with "many oracles as the prize."

Upon hearing this dialogue I said, . . . "Women are always the sought after prize, but they are rarely treated as valuable when they are actually won."

The response of my friend was a hugh sigh that I was sure could be heard by my BFF, who lives two hours away. He looked at me as if I had three heads - one of them a fire breathing dragon. We both knew better than to even begin to have a discussion about it. Besides, I'd had a dose of antihistimines due to an allergy flare-up, and I was quite drowsy. My friend was just as glad, I'm thinking. He hates that I talk during movies anyway.

The scene from the movie was still on my mind today. Even with all the progress that's been made in the last few decades, I kept feeling like men just don't get it.

Is my statement about the movie right, or wrong? Do I need an attitude adjustment? Is the statement simply of my own viewpoint from my own balcony? Women, when YOU have been the prize, have you experienced being treated as a worthy one?

I found it QUITE interesting that in the "Origins" section of the definition, that "prize" is a varriant of the word PRICE since about the sixteenth century. Hummm.....maybe I'm just thinking about it like I'm the price, and not the prize. Ya think?

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Today's Noun - Aberrancy

ab·er·rant /əˈbɛrənt, ˈæbər-/ Pronunciation [uh-ber-uhnt]
departing from the right, normal, or usual course.
deviating from the ordinary, usual, or normal type; exceptional; abnormal. –noun

[Origin: 1820–30; < L aberrant- (s. of aberrāns, prp. of aberrāre to deviate).

—Related forms
ab·er·rance, ab·er·ran·cy, noun
ab·er·rant·ly, adverb

I had the most abberrant experience of my life last night. I sat between two men to whom I have been married. We gathered to discuss our future plans.

Going into this I had expectations, as I know all three of us VERY well. I expected the testosterone to be on the level of a medical-mask-smog-day in Los Angeles. My expectation of myself was that I would be nervous, easily insulted, and stumble over my words - sticking my foot in my mouth and making everyone feel uncomfortable. Man One - I expected him to be overly emotional and tell redneck jokes and speak about inappropriate topics that did not relate to the subjects at hand. Man Two - I expected him to be devoid of emotion, push too hard for his own viewpoint while making himself look as if he were sacrificing the equvalent of his first born, and be a total jerk in the process.

That, after all, would be normal.

But alas, aberrance prevailed. The three of us got along famously and all objectives we set out to work out were achieved to the satisfaction of all involved. There was no testosterone nebula in my living room - at most there was a hint of fine mist. Man One was surprisingly and unemotionally impressed and agreeable to the caliber of plans Man Two and I presented as options. Man Two was surprisingly nice, had balanced and appropriate emotions, and did not present himself as the martyr or even a jackass. I didn't get emotional, take anything personally, nor insult either one of them. It was amazing!

The glaring question I must ask is . . . WHY?

I have only one answer that makes any real sense.

The overall welfare of a seven year old boy, whom we all love and care deeply about.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Noun of the Day

un·cer·tain·ty /ʌnˈsɜrtnti/ [uhn-sur-tn-tee]
–noun, plural -ties
the state of being uncertain; doubt; hesitancy
an instance of uncertainty, doubt, etc.
unpredictability; indeterminacy; indefiniteness.
[Origin: 1350–1400; ME uncerteynte]

Nuff said!!!

Thursday, November 8, 2007

I am About to Become An Adjective

Grammar. any member of a class of words that in many languages are distinguished in form, as partly in English by having comparative and superlative endings, or by functioning as modifiers of nouns, as good, wise, perfect. –adjective
pertaining to or functioning as an adjective; adjectival: the adjective use of a noun.
not able to stand alone; dependent.

Before I begin the actual point of this entry, I must note how utterly ironic it is that the word "adjective" is a noun.

I know I'm weird. At least twice a week *someone* says it to my face. Yeah - out loud. I just ate a microwaved potato (for lunch) with absolutely nothing on it because I'm trying to get through a weight loss plateau, and still have all the nutrients I can get. (Potatoes have every nutrient known to man, so I hear!) No, I don't like ice cream. I eat popcorn with a spoon (if I'm alone) for goodness sake! When I was a child I wanted to be a museum curator when I grew up, and I used to pretend to have skelletons of dinosaurs on my patio. Yes, I'm certifiably bizzare.

I took a few moments today to look at my life. My conslusion? It's weird.

I am twice married, once divorced, currently separated but living in the same domicile with my soon-to-be-ex. You may know people who are in this situation, but I'd bet most of them are planning to move out as soon as possible. I, on the other hand, am making plans to move to another city and state WITH him, and move into the same house again, so we can co-parent together.

Not so weird, you say? HA! You don't know the rest of the story.

My first ex-husband may also be living in the same house with us in that other city and state. Now THAT'S weird. It's not prudent of me to publish just why my first ex might be living with us, so let it suffice that it's the best choice for all involved.

In the definition above, I can see that my life has become an adjective. Not able to stand alone, but by functioning as modifier of nouns, as good, wise, perfect.

Secondary conclusion . . . My life as an adjective is good, wise, and perfect. Weird, eh?

This Blog is about . . . .

the condition that distinguishes organisms from inorganic objects and dead organisms, being manifested by growth through metabolism, reproduction, and the power of adaptation to environment through changes originating internally.
the sum of the distinguishing phenomena of organisms, esp. metabolism, growth, reproduction, and adaptation to environment.
the animate existence or period of animate existence of an individual: to risk one's life; a short life and a merry one.
a corresponding state, existence, or principle of existence conceived of as belonging to the soul: eternal life.
the general or universal condition of human existence: Too bad, but life is like that.
any specified period of animate existence: a man in middle life.
the period of existence, activity, or effectiveness of something inanimate, as a machine, lease, or play: The life of the car may be ten years.
a living being: Several lives were lost.
living things collectively: the hope of discovering life on other planets; insect life.
a particular aspect of existence: He enjoys an active physical life.
the course of existence or sum of experiences and actions that constitute a person's existence: His business has been his entire life.
a biography
animation; liveliness; spirit
resilience; elasticity.
the force that makes or keeps something alive; the vivifying or quickening principle: The life of the treaty has been an increase of mutual understanding and respect.
a mode or manner of existence, as in the world of affairs or society: So far her business life has not overlapped her social life.
the period or extent of authority, popularity, approval, etc.: the life of the committee; the life of a bestseller.
a prison sentence covering the remaining portion of the offender's animate existence: The judge gave him life.
anything or anyone considered to be as precious as life: She was his life.
a person or thing that enlivens: the life of the party.
effervescence or sparkle, as of wines.
pungency or strong, sharp flavor, as of substances when fresh or in good condition.
nature or any of the forms of nature as the model or subject of a work of art: drawn from life.
Baseball. another opportunity given to a batter to bat because of a misplay by a fielder.
(in English pool) one of a limited number of shots allowed a player: Each pool player has three lives at the beginning of the game. –adjective
for or lasting a lifetime; lifelong: a life membership in a club; life imprisonment.
of or pertaining to animate existence: the life force; life functions.
working from nature or using a living model: a life drawing; a life class. —Idioms
as large as life, actually; indeed: There he stood, as large as life. Also, as big as life.
come to life,
to recover consciousness.
to become animated and vigorous: The evening passed, but somehow the party never came to life.
to appear lifelike: The characters of the novel came to life on the screen.
for dear life, with desperate effort, energy, or speed: We ran for dear life, with the dogs at our heels. Also, for one's life.
for the life of one, as hard as one tries; even with the utmost effort: He can't understand it for the life of him.
get a life, to improve the quality of one's social and professional life: often used in the imperative to express impatience with someone's behavior.
not on your life, Informal. absolutely not; under no circumstances; by no means: Will I stand for such a thing? Not on your life!
take one's life in one's hands, to risk death knowingly: We were warned that we were taking our lives in our hands by going through that swampy area.
to the life, in perfect imitation; exactly: The portrait characterized him to the life.

[Origin: bef. 900; ME lif(e); OE līf; c. D lijf, G Leib body, ON līf life, body; akin to LIVE]
—Synonyms 13. vivacity, sprightliness, vigor, verve, activity, energy.
—Antonyms 13. inertia.