Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Today's Noun - Acceptance

ac·cept·ance /ækˈsɛptəns/ Pronunciation [ak-sep-tuhns]
the act of taking or receiving something offered.
favorable reception; approval; favor.
the act of assenting or believing: acceptance of a theory.
the fact or state of being accepted or acceptable.

Synonyms: accepting, acknowledgement, acquiring, admission, agreement, approval, assent, compliance, consent, cooperation, gaining, getting, having, obtaining, okay, permission, receipt, reception, recognition, securing, taking [on], undertaking

Antonyms: disagreement, refusal, rejection


I have to begin a journey of acceptance in my life. It is the only choice I have left, having exhausted all other options. Accepting where things are, what things are, how things are, who they are, and when things are . . . all without knowing WHY things are. That's a tough one for me. I've always been a "But WHY?" person. I've also always been a planner. In this, I'm formulating a plan for just how to go about doing this acceptance thing. I am using the best tools I have available to me - understanding of the word itself, along with the Serenity Prayer.

I have many doubts that anyone that doesn't know me, and know me well, is going to fully understand this post - which is actually my style of poetry. My mind is a complex and obscure place to wander, so . . . Prepare Thyself!

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;

Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful worldas it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy in the next.
--Reinhold Niebu

The journey begins with . . .

Acknowledgement, to Admission, to Compliance, to Approval;
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change

Then on to Aquiring, and therefore Cooperation;
the courage to change the things I can

Then from Obtaining, to Receiving, to Assent
and wisdom to know the difference.

Further, from Compliance. . .
Living one day at a time;

. . . to Approval. . .
Enjoying one moment at a time;

. . . to further Assent.
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace.

From Recognition. . .
Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it.

. . . to Undertaking . . .
Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will;

. . . and finally Obtaining, Receipt, Reception, Securing, Gaining, Getting.
That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy in the next.

Well, that's the plan, at any rate.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Today's Noun - Friend

friend /frɛnd/
a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter: friends of the Boston Symphony.
a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile
a member of the same nation, party, etc.
make friends with, to enter into friendly relations with; become a friend to.

[Origin: bef. 900; ME friend, frend, OE fréond friend, lover, relative (c. OS friund, OHG friunt (G Freund), Goth frijōnds), orig. prp. of fréogan, c. Goth frijōn to love]

For a few weeks now the verse "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." (John 15:13) has been literally invading my mind. It's come up not only in my mind, but in several other areas of life too. So much so it's uncanny, but I'll spare you the details.

I had a big "DUH" moment today when I realized just why this verse was being brought to my mind. The moment helped me take the verse from my mind, into my heart. I thought I'd share it with you.

I recently moved back with my ex-husband so he and I could co-parent my grandson together. He and I made a commitment to become close enough friends to do this co-parenting in a manner that is nothing but beneficial for this child. I can tell you, it has been extremely difficult so far. I've been working hard at trying to learn how to do this. I don't have any room for big mistakes here. I have to do this right.

This morning, after a particularly trying past few days, the verse flooded my mind rather loudly! It was hard to ignore. (I'm thick sometimes.) So I started meditating on the verse. My first thought was . . . "How is this applicable to my life? My friends already know I'd lay my life down for them."

The Spirit said to me "You're working on a new friendship. You asked for help. There it is."

My first reaction was negative. "Are you KIDDING me? I have to die, or be willing to die, for my ex-husband?"

The Spirit said nothing, but I sort of visualized Him rolling his eyes at me. I kept meditating on the dying part.

Death. Dying. Die. Die for a friend. Die away. Die down. Die off. Die out. Die hard. Expire. Depart, Relinquish. Pass away. Surrender. Subside. CEASE TO EXIST!!!!

I admit, I was on the verge of the mother of all self-imposed panic attacks at this point.

"Some things that must die are not physical, nor tangible, nor are they obvious - especially when one is so close to it." the Spirit gently goaded. (No eye rolling this time.)

I meditated further. I tried incorporating all the things that have been on my mind and what has been in going on in my life since that verse started resonating through my mind. Nothing real came to me, right then.

Later in the day a friend and I were talking on the phone and one of the many things we talked about was an ego problem she perceived she had. (She doesn't have this problem, she just THINKS she has this problem.)

I hung up the phone, and almost immediately an epiphany hit me. This is the point at which the DUH came loud and clear.

The verse says great love means laying down your L I F E for the friend. What good does a dead body do for a person, except cause them grief? That verse does not have to mean ONLY physical life, and it doesn't mean ONLY death of the body. While I had feelings of nobility as I envisioned stepping between me and Lib, (or Tara, or Christy, or Mindy, or Joy, or Flo, - All my BFF's) and a bullet, this is not what the Spirit has been trying to tell me about my choice to be friends with my ex.

What must die is my own ego .
The "I expect. . . "
The "I want. . . "
The "You should. . ."
The "If only you would . . . I could . . . "
The "Why didn't you . . . "

(SUB THOUGHT - Gee. Maybe if we'd done that before, we wouldn't be ex-spouses.)

Now if I can just take what I have heard in my mind and taken into my heart because I understand it, and move it into action in my day to day life things might be ok.

It occurs to me that taking a bullet would be a WHOLE lot easier!

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Today's Noun - Prize

prize /praɪz/ Pronunciation Key - [prahyz]
a reward for victory or superiority, as in a contest or competition.
something that is won in a lottery or the like.
anything striven for, worth striving for, or much valued.
something seized or captured, esp. an enemy's ship and cargo captured at sea in wartime.
the act of taking or capturing, esp. a ship at sea.
Archaic. a contest or match. –adjective
having won a prize: a prize bull; a prize play.
worthy of a prize.
given or awarded as a prize.

[Origin: 1250–1300; in senses referring to something seized, continuing ME prise something captured, a seizing < MF < L pre(hé)nsa, n. use of fem. ptp. of pre(he)ndere to take; in senses referring to something won, sp. var. of PRICE since the late 16th century]
—Synonyms 1. premium. See REWARD

Last night a friend and I were watching the movie "300" - which is a sort of comic book re-telling of the victory of the Spartan's over the Persians. In the opening of the movie a narrator conveyed that, in the Spartan community, the most beautiful girls were set aside as oracles. Their only purposes were to serve men in two ways - any way the man wanted, and as an as a medium between man and the gods. In a later scene there is a very large man, with a gleam in his eye and a wide smile on his face, promising that if another man will do his bidding victoriously, he would reward the man with "many oracles as the prize."

Upon hearing this dialogue I said, . . . "Women are always the sought after prize, but they are rarely treated as valuable when they are actually won."

The response of my friend was a hugh sigh that I was sure could be heard by my BFF, who lives two hours away. He looked at me as if I had three heads - one of them a fire breathing dragon. We both knew better than to even begin to have a discussion about it. Besides, I'd had a dose of antihistimines due to an allergy flare-up, and I was quite drowsy. My friend was just as glad, I'm thinking. He hates that I talk during movies anyway.

The scene from the movie was still on my mind today. Even with all the progress that's been made in the last few decades, I kept feeling like men just don't get it.

Is my statement about the movie right, or wrong? Do I need an attitude adjustment? Is the statement simply of my own viewpoint from my own balcony? Women, when YOU have been the prize, have you experienced being treated as a worthy one?

I found it QUITE interesting that in the "Origins" section of the definition, that "prize" is a varriant of the word PRICE since about the sixteenth century. Hummm.....maybe I'm just thinking about it like I'm the price, and not the prize. Ya think?

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Today's Noun - Aberrancy

ab·er·rant /əˈbɛrənt, ˈæbər-/ Pronunciation [uh-ber-uhnt]
departing from the right, normal, or usual course.
deviating from the ordinary, usual, or normal type; exceptional; abnormal. –noun

[Origin: 1820–30; < L aberrant- (s. of aberrāns, prp. of aberrāre to deviate).

—Related forms
ab·er·rance, ab·er·ran·cy, noun
ab·er·rant·ly, adverb

I had the most abberrant experience of my life last night. I sat between two men to whom I have been married. We gathered to discuss our future plans.

Going into this I had expectations, as I know all three of us VERY well. I expected the testosterone to be on the level of a medical-mask-smog-day in Los Angeles. My expectation of myself was that I would be nervous, easily insulted, and stumble over my words - sticking my foot in my mouth and making everyone feel uncomfortable. Man One - I expected him to be overly emotional and tell redneck jokes and speak about inappropriate topics that did not relate to the subjects at hand. Man Two - I expected him to be devoid of emotion, push too hard for his own viewpoint while making himself look as if he were sacrificing the equvalent of his first born, and be a total jerk in the process.

That, after all, would be normal.

But alas, aberrance prevailed. The three of us got along famously and all objectives we set out to work out were achieved to the satisfaction of all involved. There was no testosterone nebula in my living room - at most there was a hint of fine mist. Man One was surprisingly and unemotionally impressed and agreeable to the caliber of plans Man Two and I presented as options. Man Two was surprisingly nice, had balanced and appropriate emotions, and did not present himself as the martyr or even a jackass. I didn't get emotional, take anything personally, nor insult either one of them. It was amazing!

The glaring question I must ask is . . . WHY?

I have only one answer that makes any real sense.

The overall welfare of a seven year old boy, whom we all love and care deeply about.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Noun of the Day

un·cer·tain·ty /ʌnˈsɜrtnti/ [uhn-sur-tn-tee]
–noun, plural -ties
the state of being uncertain; doubt; hesitancy
an instance of uncertainty, doubt, etc.
unpredictability; indeterminacy; indefiniteness.
[Origin: 1350–1400; ME uncerteynte]

Nuff said!!!

Thursday, November 8, 2007

I am About to Become An Adjective

Grammar. any member of a class of words that in many languages are distinguished in form, as partly in English by having comparative and superlative endings, or by functioning as modifiers of nouns, as good, wise, perfect. –adjective
pertaining to or functioning as an adjective; adjectival: the adjective use of a noun.
not able to stand alone; dependent.

Before I begin the actual point of this entry, I must note how utterly ironic it is that the word "adjective" is a noun.

I know I'm weird. At least twice a week *someone* says it to my face. Yeah - out loud. I just ate a microwaved potato (for lunch) with absolutely nothing on it because I'm trying to get through a weight loss plateau, and still have all the nutrients I can get. (Potatoes have every nutrient known to man, so I hear!) No, I don't like ice cream. I eat popcorn with a spoon (if I'm alone) for goodness sake! When I was a child I wanted to be a museum curator when I grew up, and I used to pretend to have skelletons of dinosaurs on my patio. Yes, I'm certifiably bizzare.

I took a few moments today to look at my life. My conslusion? It's weird.

I am twice married, once divorced, currently separated but living in the same domicile with my soon-to-be-ex. You may know people who are in this situation, but I'd bet most of them are planning to move out as soon as possible. I, on the other hand, am making plans to move to another city and state WITH him, and move into the same house again, so we can co-parent together.

Not so weird, you say? HA! You don't know the rest of the story.

My first ex-husband may also be living in the same house with us in that other city and state. Now THAT'S weird. It's not prudent of me to publish just why my first ex might be living with us, so let it suffice that it's the best choice for all involved.

In the definition above, I can see that my life has become an adjective. Not able to stand alone, but by functioning as modifier of nouns, as good, wise, perfect.

Secondary conclusion . . . My life as an adjective is good, wise, and perfect. Weird, eh?

This Blog is about . . . .

the condition that distinguishes organisms from inorganic objects and dead organisms, being manifested by growth through metabolism, reproduction, and the power of adaptation to environment through changes originating internally.
the sum of the distinguishing phenomena of organisms, esp. metabolism, growth, reproduction, and adaptation to environment.
the animate existence or period of animate existence of an individual: to risk one's life; a short life and a merry one.
a corresponding state, existence, or principle of existence conceived of as belonging to the soul: eternal life.
the general or universal condition of human existence: Too bad, but life is like that.
any specified period of animate existence: a man in middle life.
the period of existence, activity, or effectiveness of something inanimate, as a machine, lease, or play: The life of the car may be ten years.
a living being: Several lives were lost.
living things collectively: the hope of discovering life on other planets; insect life.
a particular aspect of existence: He enjoys an active physical life.
the course of existence or sum of experiences and actions that constitute a person's existence: His business has been his entire life.
a biography
animation; liveliness; spirit
resilience; elasticity.
the force that makes or keeps something alive; the vivifying or quickening principle: The life of the treaty has been an increase of mutual understanding and respect.
a mode or manner of existence, as in the world of affairs or society: So far her business life has not overlapped her social life.
the period or extent of authority, popularity, approval, etc.: the life of the committee; the life of a bestseller.
a prison sentence covering the remaining portion of the offender's animate existence: The judge gave him life.
anything or anyone considered to be as precious as life: She was his life.
a person or thing that enlivens: the life of the party.
effervescence or sparkle, as of wines.
pungency or strong, sharp flavor, as of substances when fresh or in good condition.
nature or any of the forms of nature as the model or subject of a work of art: drawn from life.
Baseball. another opportunity given to a batter to bat because of a misplay by a fielder.
(in English pool) one of a limited number of shots allowed a player: Each pool player has three lives at the beginning of the game. –adjective
for or lasting a lifetime; lifelong: a life membership in a club; life imprisonment.
of or pertaining to animate existence: the life force; life functions.
working from nature or using a living model: a life drawing; a life class. —Idioms
as large as life, actually; indeed: There he stood, as large as life. Also, as big as life.
come to life,
to recover consciousness.
to become animated and vigorous: The evening passed, but somehow the party never came to life.
to appear lifelike: The characters of the novel came to life on the screen.
for dear life, with desperate effort, energy, or speed: We ran for dear life, with the dogs at our heels. Also, for one's life.
for the life of one, as hard as one tries; even with the utmost effort: He can't understand it for the life of him.
get a life, to improve the quality of one's social and professional life: often used in the imperative to express impatience with someone's behavior.
not on your life, Informal. absolutely not; under no circumstances; by no means: Will I stand for such a thing? Not on your life!
take one's life in one's hands, to risk death knowingly: We were warned that we were taking our lives in our hands by going through that swampy area.
to the life, in perfect imitation; exactly: The portrait characterized him to the life.

[Origin: bef. 900; ME lif(e); OE līf; c. D lijf, G Leib body, ON līf life, body; akin to LIVE]
—Synonyms 13. vivacity, sprightliness, vigor, verve, activity, energy.
—Antonyms 13. inertia.