Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Bonus Noun - Question

ques·tion /ˈkwɛstʃən/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[kwes-chuhn] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
a sentence in an interrogative form, addressed to someone in order to get information in reply.
a problem for discussion or under discussion; a matter for investigation.
a matter of some uncertainty or difficulty; problem (usually fol. by of): It was simply a question of time.
a subject of dispute or controversy.
a proposal to be debated or voted on, as in a meeting or a deliberative assembly.

[Origin: 1250–1300; (n.) ME questio(u)n, questiun < style="FONT-VARIANT: small-caps" href="http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=-tion" minmax_bound="true">-tion; (v.) late ME < MF questioner, deriv. of the n.]

In our {American} culture questions are often used as a way to convey judgemental opinions, be sarcastic, and be condescending. I really despise this particular aspect of our culture because it causes me problems.

I'm a question asker. Some don't understand that, for the most part, my questions are just that - questions. Inquiry. An attempt to disover, uncover, discern, acertain, hear, perceive, and learn. BUT . . . I see that *sometimes* I do use questions as a coping mechinism to convey my true inner feelings. At times, with some, it seems safer to covey a feeling in the form of a question rather than just laying a wounded bleeding heart out there to be further pummeled. This is part of the problem, and indeed something I need to change. I need to stop doing that. Now.

I already know why it happens that some misunderstand. I fully "get" that it's not what you say, but how you say it. Understanding something doesn't mean one has mastery over it 24/7/365, however. Especially me. I'm a very blunt spoken person - the shortest distance between two points is a straight line. I'm trying as hard as I can to learn to communicate that I am really seeking the answers, not being a b*tch. I often do this with disclaimers. But some don't want to hear the disclaimers, and tell me to "get on with it" even though I'm not being pedantic. So, the problem remains.

One aspect of this I see causing a communication problem for me is . . . I'm passionate. About almost everything. If something is worth doing, it's worth doing right. To do it right, I have to have information. I am sure my passion comes across the same way my questions do. Differently than I intend, and as if I'm judging, being condescending, or that I'm right and they are wrong. The problem is, it all looks the same to some people who do not have the perspective in the moment to discern when I'm when I'm simply being passionate.

Yet another aspect of all this I see - in my vocation I am required to be this blunt spoken, passionate, kind of person. It's imparitive to the success of my work. The fact that I'm the type of person I am is exactly what makes me very successful in this work, and has served me well 99.9% of the time!! In order to contnue being successful, I have to keep these skills honed and sharp. I "am" my work, and my work is "me." Whether that work is as a mother, a friend, as a daughter, a spouse, or in my vocation - I yam what I yam and that's all that I yam. =)

In order to communicate with some I'm taking the responsibility to change, not "expecting" another to do any changing - that's just not going to happen in this lifetime. There are some who just cannot accept this aspect of who I am. I'm putting in the effort to learn how to convey accurately to these who don't accept my ways. I just don't know how to change such a core part of myself and do it differently. But I have to. If I can't learn, and quickly, some things are going to happen to my child that I do not want to happen.

1 comment:

LibAnn said...

I accept you, completely!

((MY BFF))